Refrigerators
Oh, what Max told me here! You have to know the story behind this Picture Talk. I learned something very important about Max. This is one of our very early Picture Talks. Max was just 10 years old.
If you’ve read dancing with Max, you will laugh when I tell you that at age 10, Max developed a debilitating fear of commercial refrigerators. Really. This young Man who now knows every model and make, who has “faced” refrigerators in every county from Cape Cod to New Hampshire (no one can make a refrigerator look as neat and tidy as Max), and who has become a near legend in our local convenience stores, was once afraid of these chilling beasts.
By the time Max was 10 years old, he was so fearful that I couldn’t even coax him into a store that had refrigerators, even if they were all the way in the back of the store. Unfortunately, this was pre-drive-thru era in Massachusetts. And I couldn’t just leave Max in the car while I did my errands. If he did come in, it was usually, well…memorable. Some of you know how hard it is to get the most basic things done.
As I’d tuck Max into bed at night, I’d often grab paper and pen and ask Max what he wanted to talk about. And on this night, he wanted to talk about CVS. And refrigerators!
He told me about a time when he heard the refrigerators in CVS – they sounded like Christmas bells. In the next image, I explained that the bottles were simply jiggling. Maybe he needed that information, maybe he didn’t. But the most startling thing is what he had me draw next.
Max asked me to draw a picture of him walking in front of the refrigerators. Max would never have done that in real life! Never! And then he had me draw another picture of the two of us walking past a refrigerator!
On paper, Max could do anything.
You know that I try not to guess too much when it comes to these Picture Talks. I can’t fully understand what they mean to Max. But here is what this one means to me – Max didn’t want to be afraid. He didn’t want to live as a hostage. He wasn’t trying to make life challenging with his behavior. He wanted to overcome.
And he has.
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5 Responses to “Refrigerators”
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God bless you Emily and your wonderful Max. Hugs and kisses to you both!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for this–it gives me the encouragement and a new idea for my now 3 year-old son with autism (just in case he develops one of these fears). Thank you again:)
Kristen,
You have a precious 3 year-old? I’ll bet he’s beautiful.
One of the things these Picture Talks have taught me is that Max takes everything in, even when it doesn’t look like he’s listening or paying attention. All of it gets stored in that beautiful brain; it just gets turned around and mixed up once it’s in there. And that confusion can bring all kinds of anxiety and misunderstanding. He needs something to help him clear it up. And he needs to know that I am there to listen.
Give that sweet boy a hug.
Keep Dancing, Emily
I love this! Your patience and understanding with Max are inspiring to me. May the Lord help all of us with kids on the spectrum, as well as all whose kids are not specially challenged. We all need the grace, mercy, and love of Christ poured into our lives every day, and while it’s easy to see our need to receive such things, it’s easy also to selfishly forget our need to give such things.
Thanks for the reminder.
Emily,
Thank you again for sharing Max’s picture stories. This one I could so understand. My son Jay has a deep fear of dogs and costumes. He didn’t have this fear as a young child just has he got older and now he is 22 years old and still has this fear and he is very verbal but he can’t explain why he still has these fears. I hope one day,Jay will be able to explain to us why he has these fears like Max did with his pictures.
God Bless You and Max!
Kay Rokovich